


lonely

by dabbingmosquito



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Enjoy uwu, Gen, hopefully you'll be emotional, im sorry, inspired by lonely aka the song on changbin's playlist, maybe it's a one shot idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 07:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dabbingmosquito/pseuds/dabbingmosquito
Summary: Changbin is recalling some memories while quietly sobbing in his room.





	lonely

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to lonely by bolbbalgan4 while reading this

Tears. Sniffles. The dark, airless room is filled with sounds of a desperate person crying. However, they were not only hopeless, they were lonely. Guilt was eating him alive. First he taught Minho how to rap properly, but unfortunately, he was eliminated. Their group was reduced on eight members. Now, that doesn’t matter. Another member, friend was eliminated - his Lix. Changbin lost his breath few times. His room might have been warm but all he felt was coldness.

 

Changbin was reminiscing about what happened. They performed, it was their first busking, everything went fairly well, or that’s what he thought. During ‘’Yayaya’’ Felix slipped from the members’ back and that made him fail at the choreography part. JYP, their boss, found another mistake which was unfair to Felix. His friend was learning Korean only for a year, he was doing the best he could at the time, but it seems it just wasn’t enough.

 

Felix was disqualified. Everyone cried. Changbin wanted to go to Felix, his Lix and hug him and tell him everything what was on his mind. He wanted to share with him how he cared about him, how he will miss their cuddles and how he missed falling asleep in Felix’s arm and how he was not in fact disgusted with kissing him that day - Changbin just never had proper time to question himself and his interests. But - but now, Felix, his boy, would never know this. He lost his two friends, sure he could debut but it just doesn’t seem right. It all feels incomplete.

 

          _You leave me in sorrow~_

 

That memory disappears while the others appear. He remembers how they worked hard and how once at three in the morning he received a message from Felix asking him to call him because he didn’t remember how to pronounce certains words.Changbin also recalls how exhausted Felix sounded, his already deep voice was even deeper and harsh, scratching his throat while he was speaking like he had been rapping nonstop. But every memory that came to him was interrupted with other ones where they were having fun, cuddling and how every member teased them when they found about the kiss.

 

_At that time if your eyes were looking at me~_

 

He was still in his lifeless freezing room. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks. Changbin apologized but that wasn’t enough. He relived that moment, Chan just finished his talk with Felix in English. Changbin was crouching almost in the corner of that practice room, he was crying like the rest of them, like he was now. Felix appeared next to him, grabbing his elbow and pulling him into a hug. That was when Changbin apologized, he explained how he was sorry, how it was his fault that this innocent boy was eliminated. But Felix didn’t understand why he was doing this. How his poor skill being a teacher was why he was leaving, why their group was now a seven-membered one. Felix pulled away from the hug, but despite that they were still holding each other, giving each other support. Felix looked at him with his red puffy eyes, asking him all these questions Changbin couldn’t explain because he himself didn’t know but also because he choked on his own tears. Eventually the questioning stopped and Felix hugged him again, knowing that that would probably be the last time they would hug each other.

 

_Baby I’m so lonely~_

 

While the memory of them crying in their embrace gradually disappeared, he remembered how he was mentally screaming at Felix -

 

Stay.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry and yes i did really use our fandom name as the last word i hate myself too.  
> 


End file.
